Tag Archives: teen self esteem

Countering College Student Objections to Joining LinkedIn


LinkedIn5 COLLEGE STUDENT Objections to Joining LinkedIn

While it is true that some college students may be beyond help, below are some excuses you can meet head on. To support students, my connections exceed over 2,000 which connect me to over 17 million on LinkedIn. I use my connections to help both high school and college students find people in their career of interest as part of the Career Coaching for Students program (high school program or college student program).

Your key to success1. “Creating a LinkedIn profile takes too much time” is a common complaint; however, creating a profile is actually a motivational exercise. Students can easily copy and paste their résumé to their LinkedIn profile and revise it from there. Once their profile starts to fill out, they begin to feel better about their developing profile.

2. “I don’t have time to add a LinkedIn update once a week?” Posting an update once a week is not that hard to do. With most students now on Facebook and Twitter, posting an update takes the same effort. It’s as simple as commenting on a topic such as something interesting being covered in a core course that aligns with your career direction, attaching an article, posting a great quote, letting people know what you are up to, etc.

3. “I don’t think people in my occupation use LinkedIn” might have been a valid point two or three years ago. Some occupations, namely the trades, were slower to jump on the LinkedIn wagon. Today, people in all industries and all types of work are on LinkedIn. With the number of connections I have, I love taking friendly bets on this false perception. I’ve won every bet.

4. “There’s no way I can get 50 connections” is an interesting challenge. LinkedIn allows users to download contacts from their e-mail account from the beginning of registering for membership. One just has to select the members they want to invite and soon acceptances and invites will come their way. An exercise I do with high school and college students is to have them write down on a worksheet everyone they know (friends, extended family, parents of friends, professional contacts). I then poll everyone to see how many they wrote down. In a 5 minute time limit, the average student writes down between 30 and 50 names. I then ask them if it is reasonable to expect each person they wrote down to have the same number of contacts. We then do the math. Using the least (30), the math looks like this: 30 x 30 = 900. Each of us can easily get something between our direct contact count and the 900 within one week. For college students, making this a competitive challenge with a reasonable $$ prize for the highest number of contacts after one week generates amazing results.

5. “I’m just a college student.” LinkedIn will most likely not offer immediate gratification. This isn’t a sprint; it is more like a marathon. The smartest students will invest in the time to begin their lifelong network. They’ll be ahead of their classmates and will most likely receive more interviews and offers when the time comes for the payout.

Carl Nielson is an organizational development consultant, professional career and executive/leadership coach and creator of the nationally recognized program Career Coaching for Students™ . Career Coaching for Students is available as a district-wide high school program, college program and in group and on-one-one offerings through certified career coaches throughout the United States, Canada and other countries. Contact Carl Nielson at carl@successdiscoveries.com or call 972-346-2892 to discuss specific needs. Or visit us at http://www.careercoachingforstudents.net

Dr. Phil’s Sweet 16 Tips for Success – for High School and College Students


Dr. Phil Sweet 16 Life Rules on The DoctorsDr. Phil McGraw shares part of his formula for success with “The Sweet 16,” featured in his new book, Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World. He makes the point in the promo piece on The Doctors television show that success requires living authentically through these 16 rules. I’ve created a matrix of these Sweet 16 with critical soft skills for success that we introduce and coach on in the Career Coaching for Students program. These are skills that are aligned with and critical to teens and college students creating a successful launch from child to adult and being over-the-top happy in career and life. The two lists are independent of each other.

Dr. Phil McGrawFor college students, the heat is high enough to hold their attention on this subject – if it is offered as part of a college freshman seminar or provided proactively by the family as part of a personal career coaching program. For high school students, the ability to internalize these 16 life rules in order to leverage the opportunity to explore and plan for a career that is ideal for them is a tough challenge. However, some students are doing this and reaping the rewards in a big way. Dr. Phil’s Sweet 16 and the Life Skills for Students offered in the Career Coaching for Students program are both critically relevant for those wanting to experience success in life and work.

“I have studied success all of my life and I found that success leaves clues,” Dr. Phil says. “There is a formula for success and I’ve boiled it down to what I call The Sweet 16.”

The first column displays Dr. Phil’s Sweet 16 Rules. We’ve listed 16 “Life Skills for Students” that are key to success. Each of Dr. Phil’s rules align nicely to our Life Skills for Students content.

Dr. Phil’s Sweet 16 Rules for Success

Life Skills for Students™
1 Have a defined “image” and never go out of character.
You must know both yourself and how to present yourself.
Interpersonal Skills
Effectively communicating, building rapport and relating well to all kinds of people requires knowing yourself.
2  Create a perception of uniqueness.
Choose to define your image so that you distinguish yourself from anyone else in the world.
Creativity and Innovation
Adopting traditional or devising new approaches, concepts, methods, modes, designs, processes, technologies and/or systems helps to distinguish you.
3 Play “big,” not just long.
Playing big is different than playing long because even reliable and competent people that play long seldom win big, if at all.
Proactive Thinking
The capacity to think ahead in order to realistically evaluate the consequences of current actions, processes and decisions shows you are thinking big.
4 Learn to claim and accept praise, and acknowledge it in a gracious way, but do accept it.
The goal is to get noticed and acknowledged for who you are and what you do.
Decision Making
Utilizing effective processes to make decisions will be one of the biggest generators of praise.
5  Become “essential.”
If you want to succeed in any situation, it is important to be needed and good to be relied upon.
Initiative
The compelling desire to get into the flow of work in order to accomplish the vision and complete the goal makes you essential.
6 Know your real currency.
Don’t waste time working for what you don’t want.
Self Management
The ability to prioritize and complete tasks in order to deliver desired outcomes within allotted time frames is valued like gold by your employer/boss but will also help you create self-worth. Also see Goal Orientation below.
7 Always, always have a plan.
If you want to achieve a sustained measure of success in any area of your life, you need a specific plan that begins with identifying what you want.
Planning and Organizing
Utilizing logical, systematic and orderly work procedures to meet objectives.
8 Keep things “close to the vest.”
To be interesting you have to maintain a certain degree of mystery, because it gives you a degree of mastery.
Project and Goal Focus
The capacity to concentrate one’s full attention on the project or goal at hand, regardless of distractions or difficulties gives enables your mind to discipline itself.
9 Always be in investigatory mode.
You have to constantly be gathering relevant information that may empower you to do and achieve what you desire.
Continuous Learning
Check this module out by clicking on the link. Taking initiative in learning and implementing new concepts, technologies and/or methods. Let others be part of the source of your learning.
10 Must “stretch” and behave your way to success, even if it feels like “fake it until you make it.”
Have confidence and be bold enough to stretch yourself, scramble to close the gap if one exists, and grow into new opportunities.
Flexibility
The ability to readily modify, respond to and integrate change with minimal personal resistance.
11 Always keep your options open.
It is important to always leave yourself a face-saving way out.
Goal Orientation
Energetically focus your efforts on meeting your personal goals. Create a personal mission statement. Having a longer-term vision for yourself makes seeing the value of different options easier.
12 Always master the system and figure a way to make it work for you.
You can gain distinct advantage if you know the game better than anybody else.
Problem Solving
The ability to identify key components of the problem, possible solutions and the action plan to obtain the desired result.
13 Create a passionate nucleus of supporters.
Surround yourself with people who share your passion and vision, and support your pursuit of your goals.
Persistence
The capacity to steadily pursue any project or goal that a person is committed to in spite of difficulty, opposition or discouragement. Distance yourself emotionally from those that are naysayers to your goals.
14 Deal only with the truth.
You must resolve to never fail to acknowledge if you have a problem or are in some kind of toxic situation that is draining your life energy.
Personal Accountability
The capacity to take responsibility for one’s own actions, conduct, obligations and decisions without excuses. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone fails at some point. Some believe failing is the best way to learn – as long as you try again. Don’t fear owning your mistakes with others.
15 Recognize and use the ego and greed of others to create a path to success.
If you want acceptance and to be heard and well-regarded, you can create receptivity by being sensitive to your listener’s ego.
Futuristic Thinking
Imagining, envisioning, projecting and/or predicting what has not been realized yet. Others’ egos are not relevant to your long-term goals but may be valuable for your current situation.
16 Pick your battles and never let your opponent have control.
Never put yourself in an untenable position by picking a battle that you don’t need to fight and don’t know with great certainty that you can win.
Persuading Others
The capacity to influentially present one’s positions, opinions, feelings or views to others in such a way that they will listen and adopt the same view. Knowing others better than they know themselves puts you in control.

Carl Nielson is an organizational development consultant, professional career and executive/leadership coach and creator of the nationally recognized program Career Coaching for Students™ . Career Coaching for Students is available as a district-wide high school program, college program and in group and on-one-one offerings through certified career coaches throughout the United States, Canada and other countries. Contact Carl Nielson at carl@successdiscoveries.com or call 972-346-2892 to discuss specific needs. Or visit us at http://www.careercoachingforstudents.net

Freshman Year: The Big Picture by guest blogger Jennifer Karan, Executive Director, SAT Program, College Board


Happy TeensAs a former English teacher and Dean of Students (9th and 10th grade), I know that there are few things as daunting, mysterious and exciting to a teenager than freshman year of high school. It’s a whole new world: the hallways are foreign and at larger schools, students sometimes feel as though they need a GPS to get from class to class; the upperclassmen seem so much older and are brimming with a glowing confidence; teacher expectations and homework may require substantial adjustment. And college seems like a distant point on the horizon.

Part of the trepidation may be what adults would understand as not being able to see the forest for the trees. However, when a student is able to see how the various academic courses, opportunities in arts and athletics and programs that develop other interests (the school paper, community service or a part-time job) that form the Big Picture, he or she is able to navigate this terrain successfully, with greater purpose and enjoyment.

high school students see the big picture and plan carrersAn excellent first step towards realizing this Big Picture is to encourage a student to make an appointment with a school counselor early on. Where access to a counselor is difficult, students can approach a trusted teacher of a favorite subject. If a student is willing to share information with this new advisor, he or she can help that student make sure he taking the right classes to graduate on time and taking the types of classes colleges are looking for. Students should discuss favorite subjects to learn about additional opportunities as well as to get the necessary help with the more intimidating courses before it’s too late. Students can even share hobbies as well as aspirations; a counselor or advisor can help find extracurricular activities to help develop these interests.

Big Future, sponsored by the College Board, is an incredibly useful tool in helping students of all ages contemplate and understand what it takes to get to the college – or major – of their dreams. Starting early can help high school freshmen plan an academic path and start to understand the financial aid process, including scholarships and merit aid. It also provides information on how to make high school count, things to discuss with a counselor, planning college visits and other avenues to success.

Becoming aware of all the available resources and understanding how the decisions made now will offer benefits later on is one way to start the planning process. Actively utilizing those resources and building a unique and representative academic and extracurricular profile puts students on track for the Big Picture: showing colleges who they really are.

Career Coaching for Students is the solutionCareer Coaching for Students™ offers high school students the opportunity to develop a clear picture of self and their future that lifts self-esteem, increases academic performance and helps the family avoid unnecessary costs of changing majors and extending college due to changes in direction. Student Resource Central, the most comprehensive resource portal for career exploration and educational strategy research includes Big Future by College Board among its recommended resources. Freshman spring semester is the ideal time to take part in the Career Coaching for Students program. For more information, visit the website at http://www.careercoachingforstudents.net.

About the SAT Test

High Schools Recognize Online Student Career Planning Solutions Aren’t Making the Grade


According to an article in Education Week, more and more schools are recognizing that career and education planning for secondary students is essential to producing self-sufficient graduates ready for the workforce of today. With post-secondary education receiving an increasing amount of attention nationwide, many high schools are finding that helping students choose a career goal encourages improvement in academic performance and achieves significant results for their students.

Any increase in planning is welcomed, but many planning programs focus solely on admissions test prep and non-directed career exploration, relying on a series of questionable online inventories and surveys that do not allow for the introspection and guidance needed for such a consequential decision. In contrast, the American School Counselor Association’s National Standards for Students and The George Washington University Freshman Transition Initiative’s Standards for Freshman Transition find three areas of development are key to effective guidance and planning: academic, career, and personal/social development.

Online solutions may seem adequate but are poorly suited for promoting personal/social development, creating intentional student engagement in academics and achieving the results that will make a measurable difference for students. Many high school programs often settle for (and demand) the creation of a 4-year plans starting with the freshman year. Choosing a track is great if it is based on an informed decision by the student. Most high school freshmen are not given the opportunity to do quality research and introspection to make an informed decision – yet the chosen track will impact them for years to come. And these plans only focus on taking the student through a “chosen track” through the end of high school and neglect planning for post-secondary completion and workforce entry, unlike the 10-year career and educations plans recommended in the Standards for Freshman Transition.

There is one alternative – Career Coaching for Students™. To learn about the Career Coaching for Students program, which meets all the Standards for Freshman Transition recommendations, check out the information at http://www.careercoachingforstudents.net.

Carl Nielson is a professional career and executive/leadership coach and creator of the nationally recognized program Career Coaching for Students™ . Career Coaching for Students is available as a district-wide high school program and through certified career coaches throughout the United States and other countries. Call Carl Nielson at 972-346-2892 to discuss specific needs.

What Advice Did Successful People Receive? Sounds Like Great Advice for Teens


Business Insider.com recently posted snippets of advice that highly successful people received from mentors as they were growing and developing. As I read each one, I felt like they were speaking to teens (or should have been). Yet, the quotes were pulled from speeches, articles and interviews intended for adults already in mid-career. Since most teens don’t have Business Insider que’d up as an RSS feed I thought I’d post the quotes. You can click on the link above to go directly to the article.

Also, if you are looking for more in the “advice for success” you can find some great videos including Steve Jobs infamous 2005 Stanford college graduation commencement speech posted on the Career Coaching for Students “Got Motivation” page.

Great advice and motivation videos - best motivational videos

1. Terry J. Lundgren, CEO, Macy’s
Gene Ross, the man who recruited Lundgren at Bullock, told him: “You’re not going to do this forever. There’s a finite amount of time you’re going to be doing this. Do this really, really well. And if you do this really, really well, everybody will see that, and they’ll move you onto the next thing. And you do that well, and then you’ll move.”

2. Richard Branson, founder and chairman, Virgin Group
“My mother always taught me never to look back in regret but to move on to the next thing. The amount of time people waste dwelling on failures rather than putting that energy into another project, always amazes me. I have fun running ALL the Virgin businesses — so a setback is never a bad experience, just a learning curve.”

3. Marissa Mayer, VP, Google
“My friend Andre said to me, ‘You know, Marissa, you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to pick the right choice, and I’ve gotta be honest: That’s not what I see here. I see a bunch of good choices, and there’s the one that you pick and make great. I think that’s one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten.”

4. Lloyd Blankfein, chairman and CEO, Goldman Sachs
His boss at Goldman during the 1980s told him:
“First, it’s good to solicit your people’s opinions before you give them yours. And
second, your people will be very influenced by how you carry yourself under stress.”

5. Maureen Chiquet, Global CEO, Chanel
Mickey Drexler, CEO of Gap at the time, told Chiquet:
“I’m going to give you some important advice. You’re a terrific merchant. But you’ve gotta learn to listen!”

6. Tory Burch, co-founder and creative director, Tory Burch
“When I started my company, many people said I shouldn’t launch it as a retail concept because it was too big a risk.They told me to launch as a wholesaler to test the waters — because that was the traditional way. “But Glen Senk, [then] CEO of Urban Outfitters and a mentor of mine … told me to follow my instincts and take the risk. I wanted to create a new way of looking at retail.”

7. Eric Schmidt, executive chairman, Google
“Find a way to say yes to things. Say yes to invitations to a new country, say yes to meet new friends, say yes to learn something new. Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse, and even your kids.”

8. Sheryl Sandberg, COO, Facebook Sheryl Sandberg COO Facebook
When Sandberg was thinking she wouldn’t accept an offer to be Google’s general manager, Eric Schmidt told her, “Stop being an idiot; all that matters is growth.” She says that’s the best advice she ever got.

9. Larry Page, co-founder, Google
“In graduate school at Stanford University, I had about ten different ideas of things I wanted to do, and one of them was to look at the link structure of the web. My advisor, Terry Winograd, picked that one out and said, ‘Well, that one seems like a really good idea.’ So I give him credit for that.”

10. Howard Schultz, CEO, Starbucks
“Jim Sinegal, the founder of Costco, gave me fantastic advice because we were going down the wrong track. We brought him in to look at our plan and he said, ‘You know, I don’t want to be rude but this is exactly the wrong thing to do.’ This was my idea, and he was right. “His advice was the cost of losing your core customers and trying to get them back post-recession would be much greater than trying to find new customers, so we completely shifted.”

11. Maria Bartiromo, anchor, CNBC
“My mom says, ‘You have to have alligator skin. You can’t believe the good stuff, and you certainly can’t believe the bad stuff’ and that’s something I’ve come to accept. “So when I see someone say anything nice about me in a magazine or anywhere, I probably won’t read it, because I don’t want to be in a place where I start believing my own press releases.”

12. Richard Parsons, former chairman, Citigroup
Steve Ross, the former CEO of Time Warner, told him:
“Just remember, it’s a small business and a long life. You’re going to see all these people again.”

13. Jennifer Hyman, CEO and co-founder, Rent The Runway
“Just do it. There’s no benefit to saying, ‘I’m just doing this because it will get me to this new place,’ or ‘I’m just going to go into this analyst program because it will prep me for X.’ “If you’re passionate about something, go for it, because people are great at what they love and when they’re the happiest.”

14. Edward Rust Jr., chairman and CEO, State Farm
“[My father] had the uncanny ability with just a couple of little phrases. One: ‘You know better… don’t you,’ and ‘you can do better… can’t you.'”

15. Joe Uva, former CEO, Univision
“Always have the courage of your convictions. Always state what’s on your mind. Follow your gut. And observe what other people are doing around you.”

16. Mohamed El-Erian, CEO and co-chief investment officer, PIMCO
“I remember asking my father, ‘Why do we need four newspapers?’ He said to me, ‘Unless you read different points of view, your mind will eventually close, and you’ll become a prisoner to a certain point of view that you’ll never question.'”

17. Kenneth Burdick, president and CEO, Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Minnesota
Burdick received this message from various successful people he has met:
“Surround yourself with good people. And part of that is surrounding yourself with people who think differently than you. Surrounding yourself with people who have different experiences than you. In business, it’s all about the team.”

18. Steve Schwartzman, chairman and CEO, Blackstone Group
“[My high school] coach, a 50-year-old named Jack Armstrong … would shout, ‘Remember—you’ve got to make your deposits before you can make a withdrawal!’ …”Coach Armstrong came to mind in one of my first weeks on Wall Street, 35 years ago. I’d stayed up all night building a massive spreadsheet to be ready for a morning meeting. … The partner on the deal, however, took one look at my work, spotted a tiny error, and went ballistic. “As I sat there while he yelled at me, I realized I was getting the MBA version of Coach Armstrong’s words. Making an effort and meeting the deadline simply weren’t enough.”

19. Peter Swinburn, president and CEO, Molson Coors
“The then-big boss asked me to go and do basically a turnaround job. And he said, ‘I don’t mind what you do, as long as you don’t do what we’ve done before.'”

Fear of Failure, Success, the Unknown: Which One Controls You?


Your key to successFear of Failure. Fear of Success. Fear of the Unknown. Any of these can be the handcuffs for teens looking at the future and wondering what it holds. What career direction should I pursue? What educational strategy is best for me? What college should I choose? Any of these questions can play an invisible role in hindering pursuit of our potential.

High school academics doesn’t reveal much when it comes to identifying those that have a fear that hinders their success. A student can excel in academics, even be labeled “most likely to succeed” by their class mates. Yet, we see many of these enter college, change majors multiple times and procrastinate as they approach college graduations.

Teens that are academically performing at a level lower than their potential may also be challenged with fear. Today’s educational system allows just about anyone to excel if they have the ambition. Most students are very bright and capable regardless of their academic standing. If they missed developing the foundation for success in reading, writing, math, it is harder to show academic excellence but that does not change the fact that they are likely very bright.

If fear is playing a role in limiting a person future, it is helpful to understand which fear it might be. Fear of success, fear of failure and fear of the unknown are reviewed in this article. A few strategies are also offered for conquering the fear.

Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is related to fear of criticsim and rejection. Successful people see failure as simple feedback and nothing more. Unsuccessful people or those not moving forward look at mistakes as permanent and personal.

Most people self-limit themselves. They don’t achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because they fear they will fail.

Fear of Success

Fear of success can be just as paralyzing as fear of failure. Many people fear success because it tests their limits and makes them vulnerable to new situations. Even worse, success can expose weaknesses and force people to deal with their flaws.   Success is scary because it involves change.

For people with a fear of success, the internal feelings when thinking about the possibility of success are very close to what is felt when we are failing at something. Success can be intimidating and hard to handle. With success comes more challenges and responsibilities – and that can be threatening.

Sometimes people fear success because they don’t know if they can live up to their achievements. They don’t think they’re good enough or smart enough. They’re afraid they don’t have what it takes to rise to the challenge, and they don’t know if they can sustain their success.

There is another condition that feeds the fear of success. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that the road to success involves risks such as “getting one’s hopes up” – which threatens to lead to disappointment. And many of us-especially if we’ve been subject to verbal abuse-have been told we were losers our whole lives, in one way or another. We have internalized that feedback and feel that we don’t deserve success. Even those of us who were not abused or otherwise traumatized often associate success with uncomfortable things such as competition.  Take a simple Fear of Success quiz.

Fear of the Unknown

Fear of the unknown is a peculiar condition in most of us, where we find ourselves freezing up as we think of embarking upon something we are not acquainted with.  Fear of the unknown can leave a person in a frozen status. They are afraid of entering and exploring the new ground, because they think they might get in trouble. They are afraid of losing what they already have by jumping into the unknown.

Fear of the unknown is a common phenomenon with young people, when they don’t wish to accept or pursue anything unfamiliar. There is a certain safety radar in our body that keeps us alarmed of the various dangers that come into our life.  These safety limits are learned during our growing years as a child.

While as a child we were often restricted by our parents or taught to fear unusual situations. We then become apprehensive about meeting anything new and foreign. This fear, in a way, restricts an individual into a particular fenced area of the “known”, depriving him from the excitement of meeting the future with enthusiasm.

If allowed to persist, the fear can ultimately lead to a very restricted lifestyle, devoid of the various essences in life. They know what they should be doing, but they can’t take action because they think there is a risk involved with this big life transition.

The Internal Conflict Between What You Want and What You Already Have

Yes, you will be leaving your well known life and begin to embrace a totally new lifestyle. But, here’s something that’s worth thinking about: Aren’t you already in trouble? What urged you to search for your true passion? Aren’t you hungry for a meaning in your life? Aren’t you already feeling the fear of being lost and wandering aimlessly through life lacking a real purpose? Are you happy with the idea of doing work that has no meaning and wasting your precious time doing something that doesn’t really matter to you?

Be Smart About FearSo what can you do?

If you think you have a fear of failure, start looking at life with a new paradigm: there is no failure, only feedback. The only way we learn is through trial and error experience. The only way you have learned anything is through mistakes. The only way to be successful is to learn (fail).

To overcome the fear of failure, first take action. Bold, decisive action.  Fear of failure immobilizes you. To overcome this fear, you must act. When you act, act boldly.   Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation. You must overcome the inertia by doing something. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? As the Nike commercial says, just do it. If it doesn’t work out the way you want, then do something else. But DO SOMETHING NOW. Second, be persistant. Successful people just don’t give up. They keep trying different approaches to achieving their outcomes until they finally get the results they want. Third, don’t take failure personally. Failure is about behavior, outcomes, and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic. Fourth, do things differently. If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else. There is an old saying, “if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.” If you’re not getting the results you want, then you must do something different. And finally, look for possible opportunities that result from the experience. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, says “every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.” Look for the opportunity and the benefit.

If you think you have a fear of success, first differentiate between feelings of excitement (positive) and a “trauma reaction.” Think of a time in your past when you were very successful. Recall your body’s physical response. Perhaps your heart rate was up. What other physical responses can you recall? Now think of a time when you failed and the failure was a public embarrassment. What was your body’s physical response? What we’ve found is that failure (stress) and success (excitement) produce similar physical reactions in our body. So differentiate your feelings of success as positive, not negative.

Second, look for actions or behaviors that are self-sabotaging. For example, partying or watching TV the night before the big exam or presentation at school, or you somehow always ruin the opportunity for a good night’s sleep. Third, stop procrastinating. Putting projects, assignments, or duties off while you take care of non-essential fluff or “make-work” chores can be a sign of fear of success. If you putter around instead of taking care of business, you may be subconsciously sabotaging yourself.

Fourth,  stop talking about it and start doing. Sometimes certain behaviors look like laziness, but they reveal a fear of success. For instance, you may talk about your life dreams and goals all the time, but you watch TV every night and surf the Internet for hours every day. You never actually take practical steps or exert self-discipline to move in the direction of your goals.

And last, stop creating negative, pessimistic talk. Fear of success can involve an extremely negative perspective of life. “What’s the point of dressing up for the job interview? I probably won’t get it anyway.” Not trying – and focusing on all the things that can go wrong – is self-sabotaging behavior.

If you think you have a fear of the unknown, first know this type of fear is not that fatal to an individual, yet it should definitely be remedied in order to enjoy a healthy life. For that, first of all, we have to turn the unfamiliar into the familiar.

This can be successfully achieved through meditation and by playing upon our imagination. Our mind does not care for any restriction. Neither does our imagination. Our thoughts and imagination, if applied, can definitely solve much of the problem of the fear of the unknown. As Steve Jobs says, “You’re already naked, so there is no reason why you don’t follow your heart”.

The only way to beat the fear of the unknown is to take the first step. If you’re afraid of getting in trouble, remember that you’re already in a bigger trouble by not following your heart. If you listen to the voice of your fears, you’ll live an empty life. But, if you listen to the voice of your heart, you’ll live a remarkable life.

Take the first step and beat your fears. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Carl Nielson is a professional career coach, creator of Career Coaching for Students™ and managing principal of The Nielson Group, a management consulting firm specializing in hiring and selection, team effectiveness and executive coaching.

Career Exploration Requires Developing a Personal Idea Network


TED logoSteven Johnson has a great presentation on where ideas come from that has been made available on TED. Taking his message and applying it to career exploration for high school or college students seemed like a fun exercise.

At the end of his presentation, Johnson states “chance favors the connected mind”.  Now shift your thought to people who are successful and happy in their careers. How did these people find their career? Did it come to them in a dream when they were very young? Perhaps it came to them through a high school class. Or from a discussion with one of their friends. Johnson’s research suggests eureka or light bulb moments, a single event, isn’t how people “found” their career match.

The key to success is in the connected mindInstead, Johnson makes a case for the development of an idea network in the brain that leads to “favor”. So if you can make the assumption that the hypothesis “chance favors the connected mind”  is true, you might find that most people that are in highly successful and enjoyable careers didn’t have a eureka moment. Instead, they experienced a process or journey that promoted exploration of career choices in a networked environment.

The idea of a “connected mind” for career exploration suggests the combination of self-awareness about what in the world motivates you, how you like to do things, people that can offer expanded perspective about careers and information resources such as Student Resource Central on the Career Coaching for Students website and a students’ extended social media network.

A Common Misstep
Exploring potential careers of interest comes before researching educational options including choosing a college. Many students choose a college, university or trade school based on many invalid considerations such as football team success, where friends are choosing to go or the beauty of the campus (I could go on).  Why do they do that? I see two primary reasons:

  1. No access to credible career exploration tools and strategies
  2. Effective career exploration requires work
  3. Without “credible” career exploration tools and strategies, blind faith about what that work will produce is required

What if there were personality and interests assessments that were so valid and reliable for increasing self-awareness and identifying potential career choices they eliminated the need for “blind faith”? What if that led to motivation to do the work to investigate high-potential career interests?

So you’re ready to research educational options and choose a college
One exercise that high school students can do to expand their connected mind for choosing a college is use their Facebook extended network to find students attending a particular college of interest. With Facebook for finding those students and Skype for connecting easily for a chat, it is easy to learn about a particular college or university from the inside. Even better, ask those students attending your school of interest to help you connect with students in the specific major that you are targeting.

Remember, “chance favors the connected mind”. What are the chances you are choosing a career direction and education strategy that will favor you ten years from now?

Carl Nielson is the developer of Career Coaching for Students™, the premier career exploration program for high school and college students. Nielson is the founder of Success Discoveries (www.successdiscoveries.com) and The Nielson Group (www.nielsongroup.com), a global organizational management consulting firm. Prior to consulting, he served over 20 years in corporate human resources management. He holds a degree in organizational psychology from Texas A&M University. Find Carl on LinkedIn.

If you are looking for true career coaching for students, look at http://www.careercoachingforstudents.net. We offer a high school program and college program. Are you past the college years? Check out free resources at Success Discoveries. Professional career coaching services offered.

Copyright © 2011 Success Discoveries, LLC
Career Coaching for Students™ is a trademark of Success Discoveries, LLC
Life Skills for Students™ is a trademark of Success Discoveries, LLC

My Graduation Speech…for incoming High School Students


Your personal white board is clean. Write on it wisely.

I posted this as part of another post last June 2010. I’ve updated it and gave it is own post. Incoming high school freshman have a clean white board and an exciting opportunity. As a Dad of a college junior and a high school junior, it is so clear how choices made as an incoming Freshman high school student (not to minimize a foundation for self management and personal accountability that was established years ago) play a significant part in how the student graduates. This isn’t based on just my two kids, it is based on observing them and all of their friends and classmates. So based on my observations, along with my experience in the work world, I offer the following graduation speech for those moving from junior high to senior high school.

As you aim for high school, you have an incredible opportunity before you. Think of this time as a clean white board. I don’t mean to suggest your past doesn’t matter. Your past is a part of your future . If you perceive your past as positive, you can choose to carry those thoughts forward. If you consider your past to be less than you desire for the future, you can make choices about that too. You see, you have choices you are making right now.

But let’s test your perception of your past. Close your eyes. think about your first kiss (if that has happened already). Your favorite book you’ve ever read? Your favorite TV show… and movie? How do you see your parents? Your teachers? Your coaches? Your grades? Your study habits? Your desire to be involved?

All of this is going to impact your future. If you see your past positively, it will serve you well as a foundation for the future. If your past was personally less than ideal, it can serve you well as a motivator for creating that better future for yourself. Either way, the future is totally in your control – others do not have control of your future – only you do.

Even though you’ve taken several history classes already, you relate most easily to events that have occurred in your own past – your own past is like a drop of water in all the oceans of our great world. What that means is, don’t let your personal experiences limit you. Don’t let your current self perception dictate what you do tomorrow. The majority of teenagers feel inadequate and insecure. Some show their insecurity through shyness. Others through egotistical behaviors. This insecurity comes partially from being intelligent and partially from giving too much power to the concern for others’ perceptions. The intelligent part refers to the fact that you recognize your current ignorance about yourself and the world around you – that’s smart.

Giving too much power to others comes from a lack of sense of self. A lack of self understanding is easily changed. The more you do…that is, the more activities you engage in – especially outside your comfort zone, and the more you do for others, will give you a better sense of self. If you choose to disengage or to follow others rather than lead yourself, you’ll still get a sense of self but it won’t be accurate. Also, personal development experiences will come along slower and they will probably not be as beneficial.

Give yourself permission to study and enjoy learning world history. To give you an idea of how important history is, place yourself into the future, let’s say about 30 years. Today becomes the past. Your entire high school experience has already happened. Now let’s say you are extremely successful 30 years into the future. How did that happen? How did you become extremely successful? Was what you did in high school a part of why you are so successful 30 years out? Did any world events during your school years frame your thinking and shape your motivators? Now that you are successful, how do you define success?

As you emerge into adulthood, life experiences will be overwhelming at times. For some of you, that time has already happened. If your life has been hard already, I salute you and send you a big hug. I promise you will be rewarded. For all of you, you will experience tough times and overwhelming events through your entire life. It isn’t a matter of “if” you have a hard life. You will have a hard life. Let me say that again. “You will have a hard life.” The real question is “how will you lead your life?”. Will you see your life with happiness and gratitude? To answer the question for myself, my life has been a journey. Not an easy journey. I’ve come to realize that hard work isn’t good or bad. I’ve chosen my view of acceptance of life’s hard work. I’ve also developed a great appreciation for what I do and for so many people that have been in my life.

So, what’s your opinion?

Does money create happiness? Click on the link to answer the survey question.
Answer with either yes or no or I don’t know.

I think my happiness increased the most when I stopped judging and started learning. Do you judge your classmates? Or do you learn from your classmates? Do you judge your teachers or learn from them? Do you judge your parents or learn from them?

There was a time I thought I wasn’t very intelligent. It was during my elementary and junior high school days. I learned many years later that I had many intelligences and in fact some were much higher than average. Instead of being egotistical about my abilities, I am humbled by my abilities. I also see everyone else with the same colored glasses…each of you are extremely talented and above average.

How do I know that? You see, I’ve been running a quasi-experiment for 30 years without really knowing it. In my work as a consultant to corporations, I help CEOs and managers select the best person for a particular job or position in those companies. In all of my work, I never measure IQ or “intelligence” to  predict how well a particular candidate or employee will perform. What I measure has more to do with something you already have right now. Your personal talent.

Your talents are already established. All you need to do is add a little ingredient called passion. Of course you need Life Skills and knowledge and use your moral compass. But with passion, your talent, knowledge and a solid foundation in specific life skills guided by a moral compass will take you to a successful future – I guarantee it! Without passion, the other stuff won’t matter much. Don’t let anyone convince you that you aren’t smart enough. You are smart enough – regardless of your grades today. What will count most is that you find what excites you and that you always act with integrity. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive. For success to find you requires you finding what excites you. There are many paths. You will take several of them to find your success in life. You can do it by chance or you can take control. Either way you’ll get there. For example, you’ll probably have the opportunity to do some career exploration in your Freshman year. You can blow it off or see it as an opportunity. One choice is a slower path than the other path. But in the end it is your choice – to take control of your life or not.

In closing, remember the words stated by many including Quarterback Drew Brees at the Loyola University New Orleans, 2010 Commencement: “Love what you do. You will know it when you find it. Enjoy the journey.”

Now is the time to invest in quality research about you – who you are, what you want to do. You are at the beginning of your journey. The white board is clean. Create the journey that fits you.”

Link to Drew Brees’ speech: http://www.loyno.edu/news/story/2010/5/3/2115

I hope you found this entire article helpful including the links to the full commencement speeches. More 2010 commencement speeches are available at http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/03/commencement-graduation-speakers-2010-leadership-speech.html. Also, if you are in search of an effective student career exploration program, please visit http://www.careercoachingforstudents.net.

Carl Nielson is the developer of Career Coaching for Students™, the premier career exploration program for high school and college students. Nielson is the founder of Success Discoveries (www.successdiscoveries.com) and The Nielson Group (www.nielsongroup.com), a global organizational management consulting firm. Prior to consulting, he served over 20 years in corporate human resources management. He holds a degree in organizational psychology from Texas A&M University. Find Carl on LinkedIn.

If you are looking for true career coaching for students, look at http://www.careercoachingforstudents.net. We offer a high school program and college program. Are you past the college years? Check out free resources at Success Discoveries. Professional career coaching services offered. See what a real career coach looks like.

Copyright © 2010 Success Discoveries, LLC
Career Coaching for Students™ is a trademark of Success Discoveries, LLC
Life Skills for Students™ is a trademark of Success Discoveries, LLC

Robbing the Talent Cradle


Amanda Lewis, an Analyst at respected Human Capital Institute, a consulting firm, wrote a blog article about the new Recruiter 2.0. In the article she poses the question “When is it too early to start looking for tomorrow’s leaders?” 

Here is her article:
The military has the ability to recruit public high school students for the armed services because of the Federal No Child Left Behind Act of 2001. I’m not suggesting that we start hiring straight out of high school or even current college students, of course, but this made me start thinking about the branding that occurs before and during military recruitment. This practice is making the actual act of recruiting attractive to a younger generation.

In a recent blog post I talked about the new recruiter, Recruiter 2.0—who is part recruiter, part marketer who understands the need to create an engaged brand to attract, retain and engage candidates. So how early is too early to start? When you were a child what did you want to be and why? Most likely, your job of choice seemed super-cool. You probably saw a movie or TV show or heard stories about someone in a given profession and wanted to be just like them when you grew up. How can we make corporate jobs seem just as appealing as being an Astronaut?

The use of the internet and social media forums is helping the cause. They are enabling recruiters access to a younger generation who may have an idea of what career they would like to start and grow. So when do we start? Is a “HR Professional Dora Doll” out of the question?

Based on the revelations in Amanda’s article, career choice is approaching the status of buying a car. Personal preference is part of the consideration – or is it? If marketers can manipulate anyone into buying a certain car, companies and recruiters can certainly manipulate students to “want” a certain career. The military has been doing it for years. The only thing holding back companies is the lack of aligned marketing synergy around a particular career.

For example, let’s say Microsoft and Apple decided to put marketing dollars together to create an attraction around the Systems Architect Engineer career. Or perhaps Mobil/Exxon decided to pay the entire tuition for anyone who signs up to major in Petroleum Engineering.  Is that a good thing, bad thing or a non event? With the average tenure in a job and company trending downward at epidemic speed, would “Recruiting 2.0” be setting up even more young adults for low job satisfaction and mediocrity of life?

The question I’m raising is: Does it make more sense for the person to control their own destiny, including taking an assertive approach to investigating and choosing the career they want or simply dance to the song that sounds the best in the moment? One way generates personal accountability, intention and high probability of success and happiness and the other promotes corporate need.

About the Author: Carl Nielson is an executive coach, organizational development consultant and career coach. He developed the program, Career Coaching for Students™ for high school students in 2005 which happens to align with 100% of recently published GWU Freshman Transition Initiative guidelines. A college version was just released in June of 2010.

Student Resource Central is Fast Becoming THE Career and College Research Go-To Site


Student Resource Central™, the secure-access part of the Career Coaching for Students™ website is fast becoming THE Career and College Research Go-To Site for students: Incredibly rich with high-quality, high-value and validated content that saves incredible amounts of time for students (and parents).

The Career Coaching for Students™ program is the pride and joy for Success Discoveries (other programs will be coming in time). Because of the depth and quality of the program, the Home Study Personal Edition is $349 (current price) and workshops being offered in various areas of the U.S. range from $500 to $850 per student. While it is worth the price of admission, many families won’t be signing up. Yet, we have an incredibly rich amount of web content for students to use for career exploration exercises, search for colleges that match their educational goals, learn about financial aid, budgeting for college and scholarships and much more. Until now, you had to sign up for the one-on-one coaching or one of the workshop programs to have access to the Student Resource Central site.

We are now offering a $19.95 family license to access Student Resource Central™, the premier career and college exploration resource site. This one-time fee provides access with no expiration. Have more than one child approaching high school? Your username and password will still work next year and the year after. And we provide a 100% satisfaction guarantee or your money back.

We wish every student could take advantage of the full Career Coaching for Students™ program. For those that can’t, access to Student Resource Central™ can be the next best thing.